How Do We Know When To Say No And When To Say Yes?

Tired all the time? Dread posting anooothhheerrrr post or reel. Burn out of trying to be creative? Do you find that you would rather bury your phone in the sand than post one more invite to your event or invite to make a purchase?

Friend, I. Feel. You. So many times I wish I could just run away to Mexico and get a massage that never ends while I lay on the sandy beach enjoying the most perfect weather, and low UV rays (cause I burn, ya know), as someone serves me endless baskets of chips and salsa and an occasional spicy margarita...tajin on the rim please!

Sound familiar?

As a small business owner, we often find ourselves saying yes to every single event, especially when we are starting out, so we can get our name out there and of course, grow!

If we don't manage the gift of our business correctly, we can easily end up throwing in the towel and missing the whole blessing that God has waiting for us!

I just want to remind US all, and I'm talking to myself here, that God doesn't want us so busy that we don't have time to look up. Sure, there will be seasons that are busier than ever, but we need to practice the art of saying 'no' to things that aren't meant for us, and 'yes' to things that are.

How do we know when to say 'no' and when to say 'yes'? I'm glad you asked! :)

I'm learning to get in the practice of doing these three things.

1 - Ask God. Before I commit to anything, I'm really trying to ask God if that event, invite or private event is made for me. It's hard not to feel flattered or excited when we receive an invite because we all want to be included, but sometimes our no is someone else's blessing. Sure, maybe it fits into our schedule, but is it right for us? Lysa Terkeurst has a really great book on this topic called Our Best Yes! Think of pop-up markets, for my market friends, imagine another vendor said no to an event that you sell out at! Their no became your yes which then became your blessing. When deciding to do an event or not, instead of pushing myself and overbooking, I turn my mindset to my no allows another vendor to grow their business and creates and opportunity for them to be blessed.

2 - Taking a quick glance at my calendar before I commit (not just the day of the event, but the week of, before and after). When I stop and take a 35,000 ft view at my calendar, it's easier for me to see that there may be other things already planned and adding more to the schedule will just lead to exhaustion and sometimes resentment.

3 - Pause and ask myself if I really want to attend or participate in the event. As a recovering people pleaser, when I get invited to something my instinct is to immediately say YESSS...tell me when and where! This has caused me to overbook which then leads to burn out, and a follow up text saying I'm sorry I can't make it after all. Having to cancel on plans already made, then makes me feel guilty because I feel like I let someone down. This could all be avoided if I just paused first.

James 4:14 says "yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.". Since we do not know what tomorrow brings, we want to honor God with the time that we do have. When I have found myself overbooked and exhausted, I am not able to fully serve those around me, operate out of a place of love and truly be the vessel God has created me to be. Instead, I'm a cranky girl who just wants to get xyz checked off my list, put on my yoga pants and veg out on the couch watching some real housewives while eating turkey jerky!

Maybe you can relate?